Weekend Watch: Fast & Furious 9

Dom and the crew race into another mad mission

Image Credit: Universal International Pictures

Welcome to the latest edition of Weekend Watch, in which I recommend (or occasionally warn against) movies or TV shows I’ve been checking out. This week, the Fast crew defy physics and common sense for their latest escapade. Follow James on Twitter: @jamwhite

I still remember the first time I heard about The Fast And The Furious, back in 2001. I was a fresh-faced whelp of a junior sub-editor on a movie magazine and a colleague (hello, Cam!) came back raving about a film he’d just seen at a daytime screening. Channeling the spirit (and occasional OTT silliness) of Point Break, it sounded like a fun, brain-free action thriller with fast cars, a pumping soundtrack, and a storyline that mostly revolved around stolen TV/VCR/DVD combos. 

Those were the days, eh?

Since then, much like the world, the Fast franchise has moved on to bigger and, once or twice in its run, better things. And crazier things. What was a riff on the undercover cop-empathizes-with-his-target trope has long since evolved into a sprawling, interconnected, spin-off-spawning spy thriller series where logic rarely worries anyone involved, copious amounts of Corona are swigged and family is mentioned so often that you could type up and print out every example and it would be enough to cover up Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Well, his arms, at least… Let’s not go too silly here.

In its time, the film series has seen lulls and peaks and began to turn into its current form somewhere around Fast Five (with some groundwork laid by the fourth, Fast & Furious, because these films never really worry too much about odd titles). It has been roundly mocked for its wacky plots and outrageous stunts (this remains my favourite little jab from The Onion). And yet, for all their ludicrous (and Ludacris) natures, I’ve usually enjoyed the films, lapping up the routinely oversized set-pieces and following the crew’s exploits.

This now brings me to Fast & Furious 9, or Fast 9, or F9 if you’re truly wanting to keep things brief. Delayed both by the pandemic and the release of spin-off Hobbs & Shaw, the latest main installment arrives off the back of big success elsewhere in the world and carries the burden of reminding us why a big, ridiculously plotted and stunt-heavy film can sometimes be just what you need at the cinema. 

The plot, such as it is, finds Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), wife Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and son Brian living far off the grid, trying to maintain a quiet life fixing tractors and talking about family a lot. But, because two hours of Vin Diesel repairing farm equipment would put most of us to sleep, they’re naturally drawn back to face another world-imperiling threat, this time fronted by Jakob Toretto, Dom’s brother. He’s played by John Cena, and if you ever thought you’d see John Cena playing Vin Diesel’s sibling, I’d like to find out which crystal ball you used. He’s hunting for a technical doodad that can… look, none of that is important. What you need to know is he’s also burning with vengeance against Dom for something that happened in the past and has gathered both a Eurotrash cash backer and the aid of Cypher (Charlize Theron, who returns from the last film but mostly spends this one in a glass/light cell and doesn’t get to interact which much of anyone) to get his way. 

Dom naturally can rely on help from his buddies, including Ludacris’ Tej, Tyrese Gibson’s Roman, Nathalie Emmanuel’s Ramsey, and Jordana Brewster as Mia Toretto. There’s also a chance for Helen Mirren’s Queenie to show up and drive a fast car around posh London streets and for the return of a character we were led to believe was dead (and really should be, but such trifles don’t impact the Fast world). He’s in the trailer, but I won’t spoil his comeback here for those who like to stay pure in their appreciation for this world.

Director Justin Lin returns here to marshal the madness, and his touch is once again Midas-level for this franchise, bringing a real sense of joy and drive to the proceedings. The cast does their thing, and some of the action moments are truly memorable, even if there’s perhaps nothing on the level of Fast Five’s heist or the seemingly endless runway from Fast & Furious 6. If you’ve been waiting for a big-budget block of cheese to return to cinemas, you could do a lot worse than Fast 9. Or F9: The Fast Saga, or Fast 9: Come For The Magnet Plane, Stay For The Ziplining. 

I can’t wait to see Fast 23: Dom Drives Around Mars. 

Fast & Furious 9 is in UK and US cinemas now.